Marriage issue
| Fatwa #1067 | Category: Marriage & Divorce | Country: Saudi Arabia | Date: 12th February 2024 |
| Fatwa #1067 | Date: 12th February 2024 |
| Category: Marriage & Divorce | |
| Country: Saudi Arabia | |
Question
As-Salamu Alaikum, May Allah bless you. I am a married man with a daughter. I have been experiencing some issues in my marriage for the past few years. Despite my efforts to resolve them through communication with my wife and other means, I have not been successful. Ending the marriage is not an option for me as it would negatively impact my daughter’s future.
However, I cannot continue to be physically or intimately involved with my wife. I have discovered instances of her lying and disobeying me numerous times over the years. When confronted, she neither admits her mistakes nor attempts to address the issues. Additionally, she has been sharing details about our marital and personal affairs with her parents and siblings. And it also caused ruining my relationship with my in laws.
My question is: Would it be unjust or unfair if I choose not to sleep with or be intimate with her?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected Brother,
We make dua Almighty Allah create ease in your situation and grant you barakah and aafiyah in your marital life. Aameen.
Married life has its ups and downs and at times it might make on think that there is no chance of reconciliation. Often this is not the case and time heals all wounds. Spouses may stay away from each for a while, but in time, they will begin to yearn for each other’s company. This is how Almighty Allah has made us.
Our advice is that you still try and overlook the shortcomings of your wife and perhaps approach the subject with additional wisdom. You may tell her that we both need to work on our marriage and lets seek the assistance of either a senior family member we trust, or a therapist should that be feasible. In this way you would have broached the subject without putting her on the defensive.
You have already stated that ending the marriage is not an option for you. Then you have no choice but to make things work. Yes, it may be difficult, but Insha-Allah, you will see the fruits of that.
It is not permissible for you to keep her as a wife, but not fulfil her rights. Marriage is about compromise, and sometimes compromise means that one side must be the bigger person and overlook much and more.
We pray Almighty Allah create ease for you. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Bilal Pandor
Concurred by
Mufti Muhammad Patel
Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah
Lusaka, Zambia