Permission of the husband
| Fatwa #1592 | Category: Marriage & Divorce | Country: | Date: 3rd September 2025 |
| Fatwa #1592 | Date: 3rd September 2025 |
| Category: Marriage & Divorce | |
| Country: | |
Question
As salaam u alaikum wwb
Respected mufti saheb
I would like to get sharee guidance with regards to the following aspect.
My husband keeps telling me that whatever I do, i need to get permission from him and only thrn I can do the things
Following are a few examples of my situation
1. If I need to go buy house groceries or anything I need to seek permission
2. We recently had a family funeral of an immediate family member. I was told I needed to ask him permission to attend the funeral
3. I am told to ask permission when I want to go to my mums place to visit
4. While at my mums place, if I want to go anywhere, I need to ask him permission to go.
This situation is making it extremely difficult for me in my marriage life and i need a Sharia guidance with regards to my situation. What is the islmaic ruling about this that for every single thing, do I need to keep asking for permission or what
Your most urgent and expert guidance will be highly appreciated
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The general principle is that a husband has the right to prohibit his wife from exiting the house without his permission. This Shar’i given right is in lieu of his mandatory provisions to his wife.
Having said that, married life does not revolve around principles, rather practicality and convenience is to be considered. Therefore, in certain aspects such as buying necessary groceries, picking up or dropping off children from school, dedicated days of ta’leem, etc, the husband would have given general permission which would have sufficed, as it is impractical to expect the wife to ask for permission each time knowing full well that she has to go do it at certain times as it is.
As for other aspects such as going to visit people, including family, the wife would need her husband’s permission unless a general permission is offered by the husband, or he has consented to simply being informed each time the wife intends to exit for a certain purpose.
Addressing the husbands, we would say that strictly dangling one’s rights over the wife is a recipe for a dysfunctional marriage. Rather, a balance must be found, with compromise, resulting in harmony between the two. Therefore, ideally, a husband should give general permission for exiting the house to visit one’s parents provided it is neither daily, nor excessive, nor does it result in a neglect of other duties at home. Similarly, the husband should give general permission for weekly ta’leem if the wife has a habit of attending, or general permission to go purchase something that is needed in the house provided it does not become an excessive occurrence. Similarly, general permission should be given for visiting a funeral of close family members provided the husband is informed of it beforehand. Alternatively, the husband can ask to be kept informed whenever the wife intends to exit the home for these reasons. As for other instances that may come about unplanned, then the wife should inform him of her whereabouts and should he object, she should return home instead.
The basic idea is to set boundaries such that in due time, the wife would understand what her husband would mind and would not mind. Demanding for constant checks and updates is not conducive to a healthy marriage.
Addressing the wives, we would say that the wife should not do anything she thinks will displease the husband or cause inconvenience to him. She should prioritise her husbands wishes over her own. She should not take advantage of the husbands compromises in permission and abuse it. She should gauge his temperament and understand what will bother him and what will not bother him. In instances where a task can be fulfilled by going out together, she should rather wait for a time suitable for the husband and fulfill the task together.
Notwithstanding the above, should a husband enforce his rights as explained earlier, the wife will have to obey her husband. It should be understood that if we were to list out the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife and solely implement that, the marriage would be functioning on duty, not love and harmony.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Bilal Pandor
Concurred by
Mufti Nabeel Valli
Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah
Lusaka, Zambia