Brother making Istikharah for the bride
| Fatwa #855 | Category: Marriage & Divorce | Country: Malawi | Date: 8th September 2023 |
| Fatwa #855 | Date: 8th September 2023 |
| Category: Marriage & Divorce | |
| Country: Malawi | |
Question
Assalamu A’laykum WaraHmatullaahi Wabarakaatuhu,
I have a question to clarify my heart and to understand what i should really do now.
I understand that everything happens in this world for a reason, and by the permission of Allah, but sometimes we don’t understand what really we should do and what Allah wants.
I wanna tell you my issue, I found a girl and i liked her so much because of her love and fear of Allah and i started loving her because she’s a good muslim, i approached her family, they asked me to do istekhara and i did for 7 days and i felt positive and confident and even i saw a dream of a positive result, i told her family and they agreed on this rishta, nikah got fixed and after few months my family met them and date got decided. After 3 months just before 20 days of nikah her close relative got to know about this nikah as they invited them for nikah, but he (relative) talked me little rudely and i felt that he’s not happy with this, i don’t know the real reason yet, just after a day i got to know that he insulted me and my family in front of them and judged us without even knowing me or my family, and in few days only he said so many lies about me and my area where i live, and he tried to scare them that i am gonna ruin life of her, he met me finally and he was really straight rude to me, he treated me like a terrorist, still i tried to handle the situation but that was not enough maybe, i felt that he has some personal issue with this nikah, he made her home’s environment very negative and sad, just before him everyone was happy in her home too. Then her brother decided to do the istekhara for 7 days, between those days he again told her family that I’m not educated and i never been to college and my father is some horse-cart driver. What all he said about me and my family that was completely false. After 7 days of istekhara brother said, he felt negative so he’s taking decision to cancel this nikah and he worries about his relatives too, that they won’t meet them if they do this nikah still.
Now, i love that girl so much and i never loved any girl in my life, and I’m feeling so sad everyday, i don’t understand what to do?
Tell me please, what they did was right or wrong and what should i do to make it possible, or if i should not try just because they said it’s a decision of Allah because he felt negative all those 7 days.?
I hope you’ll get my question and you’ll give me your advice.
Jazakallahu khairan kaseera for your time.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
We take note of the contents of your email and your feeling of depression.
If what you have states is true and reflects the reality, then it is very unfortunate of the close relative to act in this manner.
The purpose of istikharah is to seek good (طلب الخير) from Allah Ta’ala in whatever one intends to do. It is not necessary to see a dream to know the outcome of the Istikharah.
Istikharah works best when one has a balanced frame of mind and is not strongly inclined towards a specific decision beforehand.
Furthermore, Istikharah is done by the boy and girl who are getting married. The girl’s brother cannot make Istikharah on behalf of the sister.
You should put your trust in Allah and seek strength from him. Du’aa is the weapon of a believer. Implore Allah Ta’ala to change the temperament of her parents and accept you as their son in law.
You should also discuss the issue with some responsible person in the family, perhaps an elderly reputable person to communicate and influence her parents to get you married to their daughter. If the girl is meant for you, well and good.
If her parents do not agree to your wish, you should accept fate and move on with life. You should discuss your wish with your seniors and adopt principles to propose to another girl.
The test of our Imaan and submission to taqdeer is to accept that our partner is decreed.
Finally, Allah will decree what is best in His infinite knowledge for you.
May Allah Ta’ala bless you with the most compatible partner who is a means of happiness for you in this world and the hereafter. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad I.V Patel
Concurred by
Mufti Bilal Pandor
Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah
Lusaka, Zambia